Acid King: Middle of Nowhere, Center of Everywhere (2015)

Time for the quarterly female-fronted doom album! I’ve reviewed so many of these by now, I have nothing left to say about the combination of feminine vocals and slow, meaty riffs.

Specifically, Acid King play stoner doom. It’s slow, mellow, and repetitive. Sometimes trance-inducing, sometimes weird echo effects, but always with a general feeling of psychedelia. The vocals aren’t anything special

Doldrums

Sorry I've been away from the blog for so long. You don't want to hear me drone on about taking care of sick kids (again--this has been the worst year for that) or about how I had an ear infection myself. I don't want to review an album when I've been listening to it with slightly askew hearing. But everyone is recovered for the time being. So let's get to it.

As you probably know, this time of

Metal Briefs: Clearing the Docket

National Sunday Law: Festival of the Horned God (2012)
4 out of 5 stars

It's practically criminal how long I've been sitting on this one without a review, because it's actually pretty damn good. I have some trouble getting past that modern metal vocal style, but this is worth it. It's progressive and dark, with synths that bring to mind Mose Giganticus (the first track) or Opeth (the second).

Death Metal Briefs: Part 1000 or Whatever

Skelethal: Interstellar Knowledge of the Purple Entity (2014)
4.5 out of 5 stars

Skelethal is an extra-heavy, extra-doomy kind of Swe-death band. It's a very satisfying listen, and goes out on a high-energy, faster-paced tune. It definitely leaves me wanting more of this brand of death. I notice they're French. What the hell is going on in France now? How can France be home to the most vital

Betoken: Beyond Redemption (2014)

Inadvertently Correct Album TitleReview by joanismylover, the third metal attorney.

I have only been to a lounge once that played "lounge music." It was fun. We lounged around. We drank cocktails. We chilled. We requested Billy Joel be played by the piano man. We tipped said piano man when he played "Piano Man." It was relaxing, fun and a good time out. I'd never do it again, but it was

"Metal Lifestyle" Products

I was contacted by someone who is starting a line of "metal lifestyle" products. Naturally, I was curious about this. What are "metal lifestyle" products? I thought, perhaps, since most of us can't collect Nazi memorabilia like Lemmy does, because it's just not practical, maybe it's Paula Deen cookware. (Get it? Because . . . oh, never mind.)

So I clicked through to find that it's a blog (a

Torche: Restarter (2015)

Undeniably HeavyNot all that glitters is gold, not all that struts on seedy street corners is actually a woman, and not all that is heavy is brutal. Torche is undeniably heavy, but definitely not brutal. They’re not even dark. But I think you’re going to want to hear them anyway.

Restarter brings me actual joy—not that catharsis stuff, not the pleasure-through-displeasure of violent dissonance.